Sunday, 28 October 2007

effin` bloodly Last Supper, Sorry av been away

But av been gettin fair fed up way awe the bloody attention this Last Supper things gettin on the bloody infernal net.
Ah mean tae say, it wiz just meant tae be a temporary job an ah hud tae dae it in wan helluva hurry is well.
Budjet, whit budjet!!!. Thur wisnae enough dosh in it tae hire models tae dae awe the poses.
Al tell ye, if it wisnae fur wee Mona kippin up wae me that week, the job widnae ah been dun at awe.
Ah wiz stormin aroon in a panic, if ah didnae dae the job, ah knew the bastard wid huv me killed, an awe cause he wiz to stingy tae buy sum drapes fur that wa.

Ah still mind his partin wurds that day, "Haw wee man ah no yer up fur it, yeel git the job dun oan time, ur else."........ The effin bastard!

Then wee Mona piped up fae under ma duvet,
"Hey big man, nae wurries, al pose fur ye!, OUCH!! ma bone is still sore. See you ya bugger, every time we huv a nite ah reckless drunken passion how cum ah aye waken up way a throbbin bone , an yoor OK ?"......... I think she wiz still a bit pissed fae the night before koz she`d still be groanin aboot that bone fur hours yit!

"Ur yoo daft wummin, wan ah the figures in the pantin is Christ, ah cannae dae Christ wae tits, ur yoo stupit ur sumptin. An then thurs that guy Judas an his bag ah silver. Wuv nae money that ah kin draw fae!!!", ah ranted, ah really wiz in a panic.

"Naaw!!! Big man, its awe rite, al wear a big smok an thatl hide thum. An as fur the money yeeve still goat sum oh that foil that ye made, whits it cauldt? Allicante, naw thats where we hud that three in a bed dirty weekend wae ma sister.
Uv goat the name oh the stuff noo, Alcan , thats whit ye called it. Thurs sum oh it rolled up over at the hearth, mind ye wrapped that chicken in it before ah cooked it last nite, it wiz pure dead brilliant by the way! Ye could cut that up fur imitation muny."

"Mona darlin` yer an effin star, doll!" ah said. " Ah mean if yur up fur it hen, weed better git startd rite away. Its gonnae be a rite bit ah hard graft doll, an that bone ah yoors, is it still sore?.
Listen am sorry aboot the bone hen, but yoo wur the wan that kept shoutin; dont stap ya bastard, slam it intae me, HARDER HARDER!"

"Oh aye an by the bye, yoor no the only wan in pain, yoo dug yer nails that hard intae ma arse last nite that ye drew blood, ah kin hardly sit doon the noo, an the uther ends rid raw."....... We musta looked a rite sorry site the pair a us, a mean we wur both still schmecked fae the nite before.

"Naw big man dont git me rang, it wis pure majik as usual last nite. Ye know ah dont no whur yoo get yer stamina frae. Ah mean tae say, ah ran oot aw fingers an toes countin they things ah huv, whit is that yoo caw thim?, organizms, is that it. Ah mind just as ah passed oot wae the last wan, a remember ah herd that cock crow, and yoo wur still bangin away. Nae wunder the pair a us ur sore.. Here you!!!!!!, ah hope yood stopped before he came in this mornin, al no be able tae look him in the face again if yoo wur still at it." Mona hud a wee look a concern oan hur face as she said it.

"Well hen, ah hud stopped a wee bit before he turned up. Bit.............well ye see a wis still oan top a ye, just as he let himsel in an a jist managed tae git yer nails oot a both cheeks, jump oot a bed an toss the duvet over ye in time. Am sure he didnae clock that ye wur here, an if he did he didnae let oan."...........Ah wiz lyin, an am shure she knew, but she fund it excitin, ah cood tell by the look oan hur face as ah said it.
But no aboot the nails in ma arse, everytime ah tried tae stop, they nails wid dig in that bit harder, am sure she wiz oan auto pilot. Bit whits a man tae dae? ah tell ye.

Bit it took the pair a us the rest awe the day tae recover. So ah didnae get the preppin work fur the last supper started tae the next day. Aye an there wiz nae hanky panky that nite apart fae a wee kiss n cuddle. An Mona wiz up the next mornin before the cock, makin us a right binder of a breakfast. The pair oh us hit the deck runnin!!! She really wiz a star!!!
Al tell ye aboot hoo the pair a us painted it an ither time.
Personally ah think its hud its day awe the colours faded its fawin tae bits, an ah think they shood rip it doon an gee sumbody else a shot, aye an the rite money this time. Ah mean its no as if theyve no goat good foties is it!!!!!
But heres a fotie of it and ye can see the mess its in if ye clik oan that link thingie