We ur oan the sofa an the dugs in ma kip

Wee Bonnie battered aroun the livin room fur a while and then birled strate intae my bed, as she always diz.
Ah hid doonloaded some Russian disco music fur Oksana an she wiz in hur element booncin aboot wae a gless a wine in wah haun an a bit ah blaw in the other. An ah jist sat back an watched the floor show. Bit eventually she settled doon beside me oan the sofa and asked me how were tricks.
Well ah told hur aboot ma nock backs an ah wished ah hidnae.
"Fucking east europeans, fucking EEC making it too easy for them to come over here taking our jobs. I sorry to say Stalin too soft on them at end of big war. And weather here shit, I no have worn my open leg finger shoes or skirt this year. I also try for Royal Hospital and get knock back also. Friend tell me it full with fukin Poles, why they no go to Siberia it plenty empty"

Ah wis a bit oot ah ma box by this time, but ah thot "Christ!whit a different political climate we ur gonnae huv in ten or fifteen years time!"

"I go sleep now" Oksana muttered a wee bit the wurse fur wear. She smiled as she said it, a wee bit like Mona only different. Ah wiz nearly tempted tae gie hir sum ah the elixir, but ah stopped ma self, wan Mona oan the planet wiz enough.

Leonardo da Vinci Mona Lisa