Thursday, 28 July 2011


Thursday, 28 August 2008

Well a niver!. Am ur amazed, an flummoxed

Heer dae yoose know whit huz jist happened tae me.
A huv jist been contacted by a wee burd frae Thailand, an a huv a funnie feelin thit she could be ma great great grand daughter, so she could
Ah know, a know, but its a lang storie so it is!!!
A hud been travellin awe aroon the wurld fur a bit. Glesca hud become a bit depressin durin the Depression awe the 1920`s so a sub let ma hoose in the Trongate, got ma sel a aroon the wurld ticket frae St Enoch`s Station an legged it oota Glesca.
A knew in ma bones thit the wurld wiz ghangin rapidlie an a wanted tae huv a look aroon before it changed.

Tuesday, 6 November 2007

Time Travel

As yeese awe no, av hud ma fingers intae awe sorts a things ower the years. A jist luv tinkerin wae things.
Weil wan a thay things wis time travel.
A hud thot aboot it in Stettin jist before a hud tae leg it oota there.
Bit whin a arrived in Glesca, weil a think the environment inspired me tae dae sumfin aboot it.
So a sterted tae think aboot it an a sterted tae look aroon fur clues.
An then awe uv a sudden they sterted tae appear thik an fast.
A suddenly realised that thur wur people rite here in Glesca thit wur daein it awe the time.
Christ a hud been daein it masel an a diddnae even no.
Ma very furst clue wiz in The Sarrie Heid Bar.
A wiz in ther wan nite an thur wiz a boy asleep at wan a the benches. Efter a wee bit he woke up.
"Where um a, whit day is it", he said oot loud.
"Its thursday big man", sumbody shouted tae him.
"Whit!!, that cannae be rite, an only came in here hauf an hour ago, its Munday ya stupit eejit, kin yoo no tell the time!"
"Naw ya muppit, hees right it is thursday", hauf a the pub shouted wae lafter.
Next minite the boy gits up an storms oot a the pub lookin really confused.
A wiz curious, a asked if anybody hud sen him cum in oan the Munday. Bit thay awe said, naw weer jist in no long. "Thats weird" a thot tae masel
Any way ower the cummin weeks a started tae notice mer an mer people frae awe walks a life, men an wummin alike, huvin the same experience.
A hud tae investigate further.
So a sterted ta hing aroon pubs.
A wid go in oan the monday clok the punters and go back oan a thursday tae see whit wans hid been affected. An sum time a noticed thut thur coud be hole gangs a punters experiencin the same thing.
Bit whit wiz the common factor a thot tae masel.
Bit ye cannie whak observation an soon a noticed that they hud tae a man awe been bevvin on the monday.
That wiz it, alcohol! Well it wiz obvious whin a thot aboot it. Efter awe it wis pairt a ma elixir a Life. Whit did a no think awe it before.
So a thot ad gie it a shot ma sel tae assess the effects and whit happened tae ye.
So the next monday a went tae The Sarrie Heid Bar, and goat masel utterly an totally pissed oot a ma brains.
Weil ye kin consider ma suprise whin a woke up ther the followin monday.
A hud dun it ma sel, a hud travelled in time.
The first side effect a noticed wiz a sore heid, the next wan wiz that a hid pisshed ma pants. Bit the last wan goat me thinkin. Ma muny wiz gone. Noo whit caused that a thot.
Then a remembered whit yon boy jesus hid said, " Yee cannie take it wae ye", so thats whit he meant.
Ower the next weeks a repeated the experiment, clyinically a must say, an the same thing happened agin and agin and agin.
Everytime the same effect an every time nae muny.
Bit every time a noticed thit a only went forward, how dae ye go back the way a sterted thinkin.
So fur the past number awe years av been experimintin extensively an keepin ma eyes open whin a see uther people stertin tae time travel. So far a huvnae seen anybody travel back the way yit, an neether huv a.
Ye se a thot a hid an idea fur a wee business opportunity, Time Travel Bars, whur ye coud go back in time an sort oot ur enemies, ur apologise tae that burd that ye nearly hud up yon close, an loads u uther things. An go forward is well tae see whur ye mite go wrang an sort it before it happens.
Weil a figure av hud tae ditch the idea, its frot wae danger, an wance yuv goan forward ye cannie go back, an if ye go forward in time yur mer thin likely huv tae leave awe yur muny behind, an yur job wull no exist anymer either. the nunber a times a noticed yon happin is legion.
So a figure time travel is best left alane. Its frot wae danger, an shood only be dun if ye figure that yoo huv nuttin tae loose.